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    September 19

    深夜被问到的问题

    夜深了,明早还要爬起来开会,要准备睡觉的时候,收到一个朋友的来信。

    她今年19岁,花一般的年纪,素面朝天、清新可爱,或许不需要用词汇去描述形容,我们每个人都走过那样的年纪,也了解那是怎样的状态。她开宗明义,想让我跟她聊聊爱情,我却一时语塞,不知该从何说起。我想,对于爱情,我是不熟悉不了解,也无法给一个花季的女孩子描述或分析的。但是我却因为被问到这样的问题而小小地温暖了一下,因为,这女孩儿的困惑,对于我,更像一扇蓝色大门,通过时光隧道,回头看看我十八九的模样,七八年过去了,那时候的我,也已经泰半记不得是怎样的一番,那时候因为喜欢一个人而心跳脸红故作镇定又惊惶失措的模样,那时候因为太喜欢了而拼命压抑自己怕被人识破的刻意,甚至那时候被喜欢的人误会说我是讨厌他的,因为在他面前总是不苟言笑不正眼看他…… 往事不是都历历在目,时间模糊了很多的记忆,剩下的片段因而弥足珍贵,那些记忆串联着我生命的每一个美好到放肆的场景,那些场景被这个深夜里的问题轻轻掀起,在我的眼前鲜活,像电影里时光交错的镜头,身体还留在这个初秋的深夜,心却飘回那一年的冬季,那些绚烂夜空的烟火,那个写着名字的蛋糕,那段轻轻哼唱的旋律,所有的浪漫元素我都用眼睛一一记取,也许因为那时的我早已明白,能留下的不是身边这个牵动我心神的人,而只是这些小小的东西,又或者我从来没想过要留住他,因为我足够聪敏地了解,没有谁是可以用诚心的祈求而被神留在你身边。那些能够永恒的往往是没有生命的,而容易逝去的却总是曾经鲜活到发亮的。

    而我那般偷偷的心情,是因为我终是不愿面对太阳底下的直接与坦荡,我终是嗜好沉浸在黑夜里,慢慢啃噬,那些寂寞的,甜蜜的,引而不发的,却专属于我自己的痕迹。爱情或许是关于两个人的事,但是喜欢却更像是一个人一时一地的情绪,而那些短暂凝结的喜欢,被一个眼神一句话语碰触到心房的奇迹,都让这样的喜欢绵长而温柔,我不舍得去破坏它,不舍得用现实的棱角去刺穿它细嫩的保护膜,残酷的成长就让别人代为完成吧,他给的纯粹和那包裹在纯粹里的十八岁的我,我只想这样地珍藏,不给谁看到,不为谁负责,就只是这样,我便也有了一种,所谓的,地久天长……

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    yina wangwrote:
    sy 你确实应该彻彻底底的谈场恋爱,伤心也好,就是年轻一把
    Sept. 21

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